Sedimentary Love…

It’s the years of friendship that
Swept away before
Our first spontaneous hug
…..by the midnight sea
Our first kiss
…..unplanned and breathtaking
Our first attempts at making out
…..a discovery by two
Secondary Virgins☺️

It’s the years of mischievous nights
That tailed behind…..
Lying in my hall….
Sharing one breath and fidgeting
With all our favorite places….
Making glee of our attempts at Chastity….☺️

It’s your absolute determination
To make me your only confidant
And friend….
Your muse and hobby…..
Your morning and noon…..
In spite of jobs that leave us too weary
For evening conversations….
And lectures
That take the rest of the days
We could
Have shared together……..

It’s the few numbered Great- Fights that almost tore us apart….
The adrenaline rush and near- death nostalgia the events brought
To our hearts….
And the overwhelming joy
Of finding each other again….
When we thought it was all lost….

It’s the victories we chalked
Together…….
The academic
The Financial
The Spiritual
…And Career breakthroughs Shared with cross- intertwined blood- drained fingers…
The pain and the joy that erupts in our souls! Oh our souls did weep and dance at each one of them!

It’s the many times your heart has forgiven and let it go of my wrongs
When I deserved it not
In your words…
“When the heart goes wrong…
You fix it…
You don’t throw it away
….I can’t throw away
My heart”….
Oh your forgiveness each time
Was breath to my suffocating soul!

Its the miracle of romance
That crept into our courtship…
The sudden feelings of endearment
That ceased both our hearts..
Making a man like you grow
Expressive and jelly….
Sweet and soft…………
Suddenly we were to each other
More precious than gold….
A life without the other was
Un thought of…….

How did it happen?….
It’s the years of sedimentary love
The years of knowing you and
Knowing me …..
Each debris did build this love
So strong………
Now the storms have come
Harder than ever….

My heart is desperate
I despair!
Our love has known too many
An huddles….
quinquennial in years
But having nothing to show
Of our toil…..
I despair but I seem to love you
More each day….
We seem to crave each other
Stronger each day
How is it that our despair does not
Equal Surrender!
How is that I loose faith each day
But still hold Faith
How is it that the sediments that
Formed our love have yet to
Fragment with the storms that
Erode against us each year
How is it that we’re still here!

My Equilibrium

My heart has found its feet again
Gravity’s pull has overridden
The temporal abnormality of
My heart’s dispensation
I am back to equilibrium!

I’ve never walked the
Territory of
‘All things not been equal’
I’ve never known the
Absence of your love
The fear of a life without you
The terror of saying goodbye
Forever

But now my eyes have seen it
My heart has been gripped by
Its terror and now I know
You are my equilibrium!

I will love you with all
My heart
As long as life gives me
The chance
And I will build our love with
My hands and heart
And never take it for granted

And bless God each day
For the opportunity to have
You by me
And if we face yet another mountain
I will brace it with the resolve
To hold on to the hem of
Your trouser no matter what

And I will never give in to
The option of a life without you
For we are one
And stronger together
Life without you is icy ❄️
Never let me go my love

27/08/17
Natasha-City

Help me put love first

I know I vowed to make Physical
My love for you
Every day
But in these trying days
Of work and books and dishes and
Dirty laundry
The promises of our youthful love
Seems so distant
And I’m now a woman with tired bones
The body has limits and the mind
Follows
My heart desperately needs help
To remember my passion

The passion of our youthful days
And first nights together
When the smell of your body
Meant the world to me
And my touch always took you to
Places anew

You are stronger than me
I admit
Able to keep enthusiastic even in
Heavy days
School never weighs you down
Work seems to bring out the best in you
And the  children are your constant joy

But am the opposite
And I would forget I ever had a
Crazy bone
And a wild mind
If you don’t help my heart a bit
And let me know
It’s okay to leave the dishes undone
As long as we aren’t putting love last

So kiss me before you put the
Groceries down
And love me before dinner
Let me find a love note in my pocket
At work
And my heart will remember
Love has to come first no matter what
Then somehow I’ll find the strength
To love your before anything else
                              13/02/16
                                 Tasha

COURTING YOU

Even as we plan and work
Towards settling
Even as we await grace’s one
Act of miracle
That will go beyond what our
Strengths can do and catapult
Us to the place where I’ll find myself
Vowing to love and submit to you
Forever

This journey with you
Called courting
Is doing things to me that
Marvels my mind and amazes
My heart
Emotionally pruning and fine tuning
The thoughts of my heart
And the actions of one who
Claims she’s in love….
It’s taking away my personal space
And grafting your soul to mine
Zapping out every breath of selfishness
Left in this feminine soul
Introducing me to principles
I’d have to marry
A chance to try them on like
New heels and practice walking
In them till I can flair like a model

Its giving me a peek
Into a life that demands strength of
Character and
The courage to submit and put away
That part of me that knows not
How to be gentle
And the grace to care for a masculine
Heart and little hands 

And so when with class and glorious
Beauty I finally stand before the altar
To say I do
It will be with a mind and resolute
Heart that’s knows very well
What it means to sow my future
To the hem of your trouser.

Natasha- City
Jan 17

Hug Me

I want to hug you

Wrap my arms around you

Soft cushions against masculine

Chest

_______

Let me

Feel your arms go around

My tiny waist

Don’t let go

Let it linger on for just

10 secs…minutes…

An eternity

Let me feel your cheeks

Next to mine

And make a quick mental note

‘To remind you..

You have to shave’…

Let me breath in your perfume

Allow me bury my face in your

Shirt

I promise I’ll purse my lips

So my gloss doesn’t stain

Please don’t let me go

There are rare moments like this!

                        24/11/2014

                        Natasha- City

CAJOLING WITH TEMPTATION

 

I have desired another man
To you before
But I could never cause my heart
To move
Or cajole in the least
For I could not toy with your heart

You’re so true and pure
And mine
Completely mine
No one gives his all like that
Only Jesus did
Now Jesus and you

I’m sorry
I’m sorry that in the years to come
When life feels empty
Even by your side
And the devil presents me with
Distractions
My mind will toy with it
My heart will glitter with mischief
In the secret corners of moments
Found alone
And my fingers might
write poems of them…

But this I promise you
They will never have me
I will never soil your name
These sighs and yearnings shall
Never know life
Because wisdom tells me these
Cravings will always be natural
And more formidable when
Life gets domestic and humdrum

You can have everything you want
With one person
If only you’re willing to work
For it

A heir when he’s still a child
Cannot have access to the true
Treasures of the kingdom

I vow
To move past these temptations
To be that woman you can love and
And trust to remain yours forever
Like a mother’s devotion to her child
07/04/16
Natasha- City

I once fell for another man whiles in a relationship. Then I realized I am no different…….
I am no different from Brad Pitt and all the other lovers who have badly hurt their erstwhile partners- I could be equally wicked. Coz I can feel the drive and need to end this relationship and move on to the next!

But my instincts tell me it is folly. There will be more of these personalities (though few)….who will cross my path and draw out things in me my man cannot do. But you can’t keep falling for them and moving from one partner to the other.

You gotta learn to take responsibility and stand by your word…your life’s map…your plans. You gotta do the responsible thing.

What do you think?

#STAYING COMMITTED IN A RELATIONSHIP IN THE FACE OF TEMPTATIONS
#IS MONOGAMY POSSIBLE?

Our Infinity

 

In this little space of time……I’ve loved you …
And been loved by you
There are infinite numbers b/n zero and one
There is .1, .12, .13etc
Of coz there is a bigger collection of nos b/n zero and two
or b/n zero and a million

The days we spent……
In each second my heart soared by you
Each minute I spent holding your hand
Fighting with you
Loving you
Arguing over books and lunch
Ernest my love
I cannot tell you how thankful I am
For our little infinity
You gave me forever
In a short space of time
And for that I am eternally grateful
I love you so much

I know unlike the “Fault in our stars”
None of us saw death
And you did not want this
But for me
You were a delight I was not supposed to enjoy
A delicacy that wasn’t mine to have

That I had you
For the short time…
…That you gave me forever and
Showed me a love so beautiful,
Stubborn..and awesome
Is the biggest miracle these
Eyes of mine
This heart of mine ever saw
Ever felt
And might never feel..and see again

I know
You’re in another’s arms right now
And I too
But our infinity will
Forever by eulogized
In my heart
And poems
And novel….
And I will move on in life
With a bold smile
Knowing I was loved by you.

So deeply
And so intense
And that’s more than most
People get
I love you
I love you….God I’m
So lucky to have loved you
Love hurts…
I know
Hazel Grace knows…

You don’t get to choose if you get
Hurt in this world but you do
Have a say in who hurts you
I like my choice
I chose you…..
For the brief infinity of my life

Some infinities are simply bigger than others…..
So I thank God for my infinity
With you
04/12/2014
Tasha

– The Fault in our Stars

A friendship dead…before birth

 

Have you ever kept
Emotions
Blocked…
Refusing to acknowledge
Them
…………………
If your fingers dare to attempt
Poetry
Then will you recognize
that….
….Dull pain
….And ache

For before the fingers can write
Your heart
It needs to accept
That
You hurt
………………….
That
He bruised your ego
Only then can you
Make art of the pain
And shame and
Bitterness you feel.

Have you ever appeared
Shallow
To someone
Although you’re
Deep
The words just came out all
Wrong and
Childish and you don’t know how
To take it back
Without
Tripping and falling and
Been more childish

And when he
Fully acknowledges
That you are
But a shallow woman
In his eyes
Then you have no more
Strength
Or motivation
To show him the real you
And you just wanna walk away

But then that would
Be
One human on this
Continent you have succeeded
In creating a shallow impression
Of yourself to
And he could spread it
Coz the world is actually
A village
You could marry his bro!

But who are you kidding
What really hurts is that
You like him
And knowing he thinks
You are shallow
Having no width nor depth
Pierces
Your very soul
20/12/2014
Tasha

There’s this Boy

 

 

There’s this boy

And he kindda has my heart

Won’t let him know

Till I figure how to get it back

 

There’s this boy

And I kindda stole his heart

Want him to have it

But he doesn’t want it back

 

It’s swelling and beating

With adrenaline and emotions

It’s veins are stretched with Arousal

It’s arteries clogged with Pain

 

We both know how delicate

The heart is

We both know how long it

Takes to heal…

 

Emotions are strong enough to tear

A vein

More destructive than hypercrondiasis

A betrayal is enough to stop

The heart

More threatening than a heart attack

So why do I delay in taking

My heart back

And why does he refuse

To retrieve his treasure back?

 

There’s this lad

I kindda have his heart

He has to take it back

Or else I’m doomed for guilt

 

There’s this lad

I kindda have his heart

He has to take it back

Or else he is doomed for Pain

19/06/2012

Cayenne*

 

 

 

I’m falling into you

 

 

A boy within…

A man outward…

Fragile beneath…

Strong outward…

Soft within…

Tough outward…

…And I touched that soul within

 

That soul that loves me so

It’s icy lips have I felt

It’s unseeable image have I seen

Within the depths of your

Pleading eyes

And I shudder that I touched it

 

For now I have come to love it…

Against all warning signs!

And in the serenity of my moments

Have I longed for it

When all becomes still

 

And now I weigh the warnings and

The yearnings…

That which is written and my

Emerging desires…

His will and my growing desire…

 

Would you be an instrument in the

Hands of the foe…

A blessing in one way…a curse

In the latter part…

We cannot see as far as

Father can see…

We do not know how wrong the

Future would go if we end up together

 

And with my little knowledge;

Best friends last longer than lovers…

 

…So am left thinking to myself..

He knocked and asked if he could

Join me in my thoughts…

I resisted him…

He raised his hands and saith…

“Come now and let us reason together”

At the end of the dialogue

His perfect will was obvious;

We were meant to be only friends

And it was for our own good

And the sake of our calling.

13/06/12

Tasha