Painful Love

My heart’s Vulnerability

This feeling is old and familiar
I think I remember it
It’s sweet and bitter
I’m trying to place my hand on it
…………
I remember now
It’s the feeling of missing you
………..
With a pang of vulnerability

I actually thought I had lost it
Because it had been gone AWOL
And I had been strong and weird
For days now
Days and weeks
Without missing you
Without as much as an
Eyebrow raised or a last minute-
Thought of you before sleep
Takes over
It was so normal and weird
I was always good to go

And no day found me
Breaking down….or pausing
To mourn your conspicuous Absence
Till this moment when I saw
Your first caring thought
In the form of a watsapp
The first words from you…
That was so close to home
So close to familiarity
The beautiful
Days of our relationship

Out of no where
It sprang up
And I thought I had lost it

I guess maybe it’s
Psychology
Was
My mind’s healthy way
Of living and surviving

And the only question left
Is whether I wanna give in to
This vulnerability
Bitter- sweet
…sweet because it’s
Youthful and heady
…bitter because
I’m left hurting…when you don’t
Love me the way I desire
………………………………..
And I’m still staring at the phone
28/07/17
Natasha- City

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Painful Love

Flame šŸ”„ up my Passion

Sometimes I want to model into
Our bedroom with eroticism and eyes that say
I wanna drink you in tonight
But then I see your distant face
And let go of my naughty thoughts
When previously I wouldn’t

Maybe it’s a phase of relationship..
We’re less drunk with love
More sleepy or bored with familiarity

But babe
I’ve tasted novelty before
In the arms of another
And I did but did not like it
For I found that the large
Percentage of the world is willing
To offer to a desiring soul wild romance
And adventure
But one out of a million will offer
You a love that’s true and faithful
To the very end
I came to find that
You’re one in a million

If it’s a phase I will allow it
And learn the wisdom it
Brings with it
And when observation and
Hypothesis- testing is done
I’ll gather my wits and
Lit up the flame šŸ”„ of passion
You have buried under all the
Mundane and remind you
That you married me for a reason…………….
16/07/17
Natasha- City.

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