My heart’s Vulnerability

This feeling is old and familiar
I think I remember it
It’s sweet and bitter
I’m trying to place my hand on it
…………
I remember now
It’s the feeling of missing you
………..
With a pang of vulnerability

I actually thought I had lost it
Because it had been gone AWOL
And I had been strong and weird
For days now
Days and weeks
Without missing you
Without as much as an
Eyebrow raised or a last minute-
Thought of you before sleep
Takes over
It was so normal and weird
I was always good to go

And no day found me
Breaking down….or pausing
To mourn your conspicuous Absence
Till this moment when I saw
Your first caring thought
In the form of a watsapp
The first words from you…
That was so close to home
So close to familiarity
The beautiful
Days of our relationship

Out of no where
It sprang up
And I thought I had lost it

I guess maybe it’s
Psychology
Was
My mind’s healthy way
Of living and surviving

And the only question left
Is whether I wanna give in to
This vulnerability
Bitter- sweet
…sweet because it’s
Youthful and heady
…bitter because
I’m left hurting…when you don’t
Love me the way I desire
………………………………..
And I’m still staring at the phone
28/07/17
Natasha- City