Painful Love

NEW LOVE’S PULL 

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Watching him laugh out on my couch
My heart recognized familiarity
He was that familiar man
Who I loved
I knew I loved
His idiosyncrasies called out
A different response in me
My heart wrapped around him like
A woman and a mother

But I’d come to love him too
This other boy…
Man
He makes my eye lids flutter
With desire
He makes me a girl again
With him I feel protected forever
Without a worry in the world
He was my gallant hero
A cocoon of love

That man who loved every part of
Me without makeup
And yet would gentle pull out my
Strengths with hands and words
And I transform in his arms
A caterpillar to a butterfly
And it didn’t hurt one bit
It never hurt one bit
Coz he was there all the way
A source of strength in times of
Exhaustion

Sigh*
How can a woman love two men
Wisdom says it has to end
And the heart knows
Commitment must speak above
New desires
It will hurt
I can’t breathe already!
Tears choke my lungs
Someone help me breathe!!!!

It will hurt…….
It will cut like a knife…
But truth be told
It was over before it began
And every party knew it
Even the oblivious one
That I’d never break his heart
He could always trust me
To cherish and keep his heart safe
Sigh*
                                     09/04/16
                                    Cayenne*

I used to say….As wicked as Brad Pitt. Until I found out I equally had the potential.

I thought it wasn’t possible….and so I toyed with this new found friendship. He was in love, I wasn’t and was confident I would never be- coz I’m the kind to walk not fall in love.

And then it happened.

But the question of a breakup never popped in my heart coz it was an impossibility. I think that’s what made it more sorrowful and painful; even before it began I knew it had no future.

But my soul knew real sorrow the day we finally parted; it was like the world was crushing around me and I didn’t care about anyone again; I didn’t even care to pick my lover’s calls. I became a zombie. And I couldn’t believe I had found myself in such a place.

Now with earnestness I prayed for healing. Prayed for a renewed ecstasy in my relationship- something to wake me up again!

Time did it…..finally. But his name will forever be a scar my memories will avoid with furtive eyes.

You may have started an affair by a twist of chance and fate, but only determination and strength can get you out of the irresistible affair.

#AS WICKED AS BRAD PITT
#IS IT POSSIBLE TO LOVE TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME?
#IN LOVE WITH TWO MEN

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